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In recent years many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or negative development v.16

In recent years many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or negative development v. 16
Nowadays people prefer to go to huge department stores and shopping malls and this has resulted in the closure of considerable numbers of small local shops. Although there are some drawbacks to this trend, I would argue that it is a quite positive development. The main drawback of the trend towards large shopping centers is that many local shop owners have decided to close down for good which has resulted in an increase in unemployment rate in local areas. Those who once used to work at local shops are now forced to travel long distances to nearby town or cities to find a job. In addition, local shops usually sell specialties and home-made products which are specific to that area and with the closure of these stores, their unique products are also going to disappear gradually. Despite the negative points mentioned above, I believe that shopping malls have several benefits for the consumers. Firstly, customers can find a remarkably wider range of products to choose from. For example, if you visit the cheese counter at a department store, you will be amazed at the various types of cheese you could purchase. Secondly, the products at shopping malls are usually much cheaper than those at local shops because they have been purchased from producers in large scales. Last but not least, since you can find almost everything on your shopping list at large department stores, it is much more convenient and time-saving in comparison with small local stores. In conclusion, while I recognize the probable drawbacks of consumer' s tendency towards large shopping malls, I consider it to be a positive development overall.
Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to go to huge department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and this has resulted in the closure of considerable numbers of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to this trend, I would argue that it is a quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

The main drawback of the trend towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
centers is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners have decided to close down for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
which has resulted in an increase in unemployment rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
areas. Those who once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
forced to travel long distances to nearby town or cities to find a job.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
usually
sell specialties and home-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are specific to that area and with the closure of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, their unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
also
going to disappear
gradually
.

Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points mentioned above, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have several benefits for the consumers.
Firstly
, customers can find a
remarkably
wider range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to choose from.
For example
, if you visit the cheese counter at a department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, you will
be amazed
at the various types of cheese you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are
usually
much cheaper than those at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
from producers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
scales. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, since you can find almost everything on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
list at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, it is much more convenient and time-saving
in comparison
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores.

In conclusion
, while I recognize the probable drawbacks of
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumer&
#039; s tendency towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, I consider it to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
overall
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS letter In recent years many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping Is this a positive or negative development v. 16

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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