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You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v.8

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v. 8
Dear Sir or Madam, My name is John Muller and I have recently noticed an advertisement in a local newspaper regarding a seminar on Labour Laws that you are going to organise in Dubai. I, being an HR professional from Vietnam, would like to participate in this seminar to enhance my knowledge. I am writing this letter to seek further information regarding this. As this seminar will be held in Dubai, I would like to ask for the exact schedule as I have to apply for leaves accordingly from my work. Furthermore, I would like to know about the content of the program as to what aspects of labour laws will be covered in the seminar. Moreover, inform me of the registration fee and whether I can register online. As I will be travelling from Vietnam and do not know anyone in Dubai, I would like to ask whether you will arrange the accommodation for the participants or not? How much the accommodation, transportation and meals might cost? I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, John Muller
Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is John Muller and I have recently noticed an advertisement in a local newspaper regarding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
Laws that you are going to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
in Dubai. I, being an HR professional from Vietnam, would like to participate in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
to enhance my knowledge. I am writing this letter to seek
further
information regarding this.

As this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
will
be held
in Dubai, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
the exact schedule as I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
apply for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
accordingly
from my work.
Furthermore
, I would like to know about the content of the program as to what aspects of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
laws will
be covered
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seminar
.
Moreover
, inform me of the registration fee and whether I can register online. As I will be travelling from Vietnam and do not know anyone in Dubai, I would like to ask whether you will arrange the accommodation for the participants or not? How much the accommodation, transportation and meals might cost?

I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

John Muller
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost. v. 8

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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