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You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods v.8

You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods v. 8
I am a resident from a nearby town and I am writing to inquire about few electrical items that I want to buy. As I had come across decent reviews about your shops on internet, I am convinced to purchase electrical fans and washing machines. So, I would like to know about the availability of these items at the moment. And also, let me know could you book this items if you are running out-of-stock. Furthermore, I am expecting a good deal on this products since I am going to buy in bulk numbers. So, I would request you to send me quotation with deals along with accepted payment options. If I am comfortable with the prices, I would make immediate purchase on next Saturday and apparently, I need your favor in maintaining the stock until I purchase on Saturday. Awaiting your reply with latest quotation at the earliest. Thanking you Harish S
I am a resident from a nearby
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
town and
I am writing to inquire about few electrical items that I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

As I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across decent reviews about your shops on internet, I
am convinced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
electrical fans and washing machines.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would like to know about the availability of these items at the moment. And
also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know could you book
Did you mean "these"?
this
items if you are running out-of-stock.

Furthermore
, I am expecting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deal on
Did you mean "these"?
this
products since I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in bulk numbers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I would request you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me quotation with deals along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
payment options.

If I am comfortable with the prices, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
immediate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
on
next
Saturday and
apparently
, I need your favor in maintaining the stock until I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
on Saturday.

Awaiting your reply with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
quotation at the earliest.

Thanking you

Harish S
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods v. 8

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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