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You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. v.2

You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently purchased a studio apartment in Perth which is in the vicinity of your shop. I would like to purchase some electronic equipment for my apartment and writing to inquire about the availability of those products. I require a toaster, a hand blender, a microwave oven, a big size mixie, a juicer, a dishwasher and a couple of fans along with a dozen LED lights. I would like you to appraise me regarding their availability (off the shelf) in your shop. In the case of an affirmative response, you may also provide a quote for all the above-mentioned items, at the earliest. On the contrary, if the items are not in stock, would it be convenient for you to place an order for the entire lot for me? You must also mention discounts if any, brand name and product specifications for those items. I have plans to drop down in a week following this weekend, which happens to be on 17th September. I would also humbly request you to inform me of the duration till the time you will be able to retain the electronic equipment for me. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Neeraj Mehra
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently
purchased
a studio apartment in Perth which is in the vicinity of your shop. I would like to
purchase
some
electronic equipment for my apartment and writing to inquire about the availability of those products.

I
require a toaster, a hand blender, a microwave oven, a
big
size
mixie
, a juicer, a dishwasher and a couple of fans along with a dozen LED lights.
I
would like you to appraise me regarding their availability (off the shelf) in your shop. In the case of an affirmative response, you may
also
provide a quote for all the above-mentioned items, at the earliest.
On the contrary
, if the items are not in stock, would it be convenient for you to place an order for the entire lot for me? You
must
also
mention discounts if any, brand name and product specifications for those items.

I have plans to
drop down
in a week following this weekend, which happens to be on 17th September. I would
also
humbly
request you to inform me of the duration till the time you will be able to retain the electronic equipment for me.

I
hope to hear from you
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Neeraj
Mehra
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS letter You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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