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You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there. v.1

You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there. v. 1
Dear Annie, Hope you are doing fine. It’s been a while since we have written to each other. You will be glad to hear that I will move to London soon to take a job that I have been offered at Liberty Global. I will reach London in a few weeks. As you know, I have never been to London and I am hoping you could help me in finding suitable accommodation. Though my company has arranged a studio apartment for the first two weeks, I will have to vacate the place after that. My preference would be to live close to my workplace, which is in central London, as it would save a lot of time. If I could get something near the tube station and the marketplace, that would be great. I am mostly looking for a furnished studio apartment. If the studio apartment is not available, I would not mind sharing a flat with a girl. But the apartment should be spacious with good ventilation facility. My budget is around $1000 pound for the studio apartment and half of that for the shared room. Do you think I will get something in that budget? I know you have a wide social circle there and would really appreciate your time to find me a suitable accommodation. Looking forward to meeting you soon. Warm wishes, Preeti Roy
Dear Annie,

Hope you are doing fine. It’s been a while since we have written to each other. You will be glad to hear that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to London
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
to take a job that I have
been offered
at Liberty Global. I will reach London in a few weeks.

As you know, I have never been to London and I am hoping you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in finding suitable accommodation. Though my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has arranged a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
for the
first
two weeks, I will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
vacate the place after that.

My preference would be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
close to my workplace, which is in central London, as it would save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time. If I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something near the tube station and the marketplace, that would be great. I am
mostly
looking for a furnished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is not available, I would not mind sharing a flat with a girl.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
should be spacious with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ventilation facility. My budget is around $
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
1000 pound
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
and half of that for the shared room. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something in that budget?

I know you have a wide social circle there and would
really
appreciate your time to find me
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "suitable accommodation".
a suitable accommodation
.

Looking forward to meeting you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm wishes,

Preeti Roy
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there. v. 1

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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