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Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, complaining about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly causing a dangerous situation. v.2

Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, complaining about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly causing a dangerous situation. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to draw your attention to a situation that has been developing in my neighbourhood - some teenagers have dogs on the loose. I am hoping you would take actions before somebody gets hurt. Recently, I have witnessed that a few adolescences own dogs who are on the loose in the neighbourhood. These dogs, many of which are fierce-looking and not muzzled, run around the neighbourhood. The boys who accompany these dogs are mostly between 11-16 years old and do not care about the situation. Many freely run dogs are intimidating, especially to children and the elderly. I am afraid that it’s just a matter of time before someone gets seriously injured. The owners of these dogs, a bunch of adolescents, seem to be unaware of the dangers of letting their pets off the leash and have adopted a nonchalant attitude. The teenagers have been asked by numerous locals to keep the dogs under control but all requests have been ignored. I, therefore, believe that immediate action must be taken and I ask that you investigate the matter and take appropriate action as soon as possible to prevent the occurrence of injury and serious bodily harm. Yours faithfully, Carol Diana
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to draw your attention to a situation that has been developing in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
on the loose. I am hoping you would take actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
somebody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
hurt.

Recently, I have witnessed that a few adolescences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
who are on the loose in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of which are fierce-looking and not muzzled, run around the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. The boys who accompany these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
are
mostly
between 11-16 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and do not care about the situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
freely
run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
are intimidating,
especially
to children and the elderly. I am afraid that it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a matter of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
seriously
injured.

The owners of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
, a bunch of adolescents, seem to be unaware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of letting their pets off the leash and have adopted a nonchalant attitude. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have
been asked
by numerous locals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dogs
under control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all requests have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

I,
therefore
, believe that immediate action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
and I ask that you investigate the matter and take appropriate action as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the occurrence of injury and serious
bodily
harm.

Yours
faithfully
,

Carol Diana
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter Write a letter to the Mayor, the head of a municipal government, complaining about a situation in which some adolescents let their dogs run wildly causing a dangerous situation. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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