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You use trains to reach office but the timetable of the train has been changed recently. Also, the train you take to work no longer stops at your station. Write a letter to the railway authority about it. v.2

You use trains to reach office but the timetable of the train has been changed recently. Also, the train you take to work no longer stops at your station. Write a letter to the railway authority about it. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of the Seven Hills area and I regularly use your trains to commute to and from my office. The recent change to the train schedule is causing great sufferings for many commuters like me and I am hoping you would consider a revision of the timetable. I work for an IT company in Denver and several other office goers have the same schedule that I follow to reach the workplace. I used to take one of your trains at 7: 40 am from Seven Hills Station and usually reached my destination around 8: 30 in the morning. The Denver Station, where the train used to drop me off, is only five minutes walk from my office. However, under the revised timetable, your train no longer stops at my station at 7: 40 am and I am forced to take a train from the Curberry Station at 8: 30 am which is almost a mile away from my residence. This revised timetable and schedule are inconvenient for us. A train takes passengers from our station, but only at 6. 30 in the morning and this is too early for us to get on the train. I have also checked with fellow passengers who are also struggling to get to the work on time. I request you revise the train timing again and reinstate 7: 40 AM's train to stop at our station, which will enable me or fellow passengers to travel to work on time. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully Ravi Babu
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am a resident of the Seven Hills area and I
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
to commute to and from my office. The recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
schedule is causing great sufferings for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commuters like
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
I am hoping you would consider a revision of the timetable.

I work for an IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Denver and several other office goers have the same schedule that I follow to reach the workplace. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take one of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
at 7: 40 am from Seven Hills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Station
and
usually
reached my destination around 8: 30 in the morning. The Denver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Station
, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to drop me off, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
five minutes walk from my office.

However
, under the revised timetable, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
at 7: 40
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
am and
I
am forced
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Curberry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Station
at 8: 30 am which is almost a mile away from my residence. This revised timetable and schedule are inconvenient for us. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
takes passengers from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at 6. 30 in the morning and this is too early for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
. I have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
with fellow passengers who are
also
struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the work on time.

I request you revise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
timing again and reinstate 7: 40
Incorrect singular possessive form after the number (40). Did you mean "AMs" or "AMs'"?
AM's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
at our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
station
, which will enable me or fellow passengers to travel to work on time.

Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully


Ravi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Babu
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You use trains to reach office but the timetable of the train has been changed recently. Also, the train you take to work no longer stops at your station. Write a letter to the railway authority about it. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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