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You use trains to reach office but the timetable of the train has been changed recently. Also, the train you take to work no longer stops at your station. Write a letter to the railway authority about it. v.1

You use trains to reach office but the timetable of the train has been changed recently. Also, the train you take to work no longer stops at your station. Write a letter to the railway authority about it. v. 1
I would like to draw your kind attention that, the train schedule in my area has recently been changed and due to this, many office goers like me are suffering. I am hoping you would keep the previous timetable and introduce more frequent trains for the convenience of the residents. I am a banker and I work as an assistant manager at the City Bank. I regularly commute to my office using your train. Sadly, the train I used to take to reach office no longer stops at our station and as a result, we need to travel a few extra miles to reach the City Centre Station which is overcrowded in the morning hours. I am often late to reach my office and have objections about the revised train timetable. With the introduction of the new train schedule, daily commuting for employees like me has become utterly difficult which ultimately makes your service unreliable. Unfortunately, because of this problem, many commuters are late for their work which is affecting their productivity. Consequently, they are very upset about your service. As a solution to this problem, I would recommend you to revert to the previous schedule and arrange more trains during the peak hours. If it is not possible, then at least add more carriages to increase the space. It will be a great relief if you can resolve this problem as soon as possible. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Campbell Scott
I would like to draw your kind attention that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
schedule in my area has recently been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
goers like me are suffering. I am hoping you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the previous timetable and introduce more frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
for the convenience of the residents.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am a banker and I work as an assistant manager at the City Bank.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
regularly
commute to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
using your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
Sadly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
at our station and
as a result
, we need to travel a few extra miles to reach the City
Possible spelling mistake. 'Centre' is British English.
Centre
Station which
is overcrowded
in the morning hours. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
late to reach my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
and have objections about the revised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
timetable.

With the introduction of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
schedule, daily commuting for employees like me has become
utterly
difficult which
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
your service unreliable. Unfortunately,
because of this
problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commuters are late for their work which is affecting their productivity.
Consequently
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
upset about your service.

As a solution to this problem, I would recommend you to revert to the previous schedule and arrange more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
during the peak hours. If it is not possible, then at least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more carriages to increase the space. It will be a great relief if you can resolve this problem as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Campbell Scott
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter You use trains to reach office but the timetable of the train has been changed recently. Also, the train you take to work no longer stops at your station. Write a letter to the railway authority about it. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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