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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. PrDuring a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Wr v.76

PrDuring a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Wr v. 76
Dear Mr. Singh, How are you doing? Hope you still remember me. We met during our plane journey from Delhi to Mumbai on Dec 24th and I was sitting next to you. I am writing this letter to express my interest for the job position you shared with me, in one of your restaurants in Mumbai. As you are already aware that I am not very much satisfied with my role in my current organization, primarily because I am not getting any challenging role and the financial incentives are also not up to the industry standard. So, I am looking for a better career prospect and professional growth now. I am open to relocate as well for my career growth. As you told me during our journey that the job satisfaction index in your company is very high due to good exposure and incentives, I would like to apply for the job position of Sr. Manager in your company. I possess a Masters’ Degree in hotel management from XLRI, Jamshedpur and have 6 years of relevant experience in hotel management. So, if you have any suitable job vacancy in any of your esteemed chain of restaurants, please consider me for the same. I will be highly obliged. Best regards, Tejinder Mobile no. - 9876100200
Dear Mr. Singh,

How are you doing? Hope you
still
remember me. We met during our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
journey from Delhi to Mumbai on Dec
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
24th and
I was sitting
next
to you. I am writing this letter to express my interest for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
position you shared with me, in one of your restaurants in Mumbai.

As you are already aware that I am not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much satisfied with my role in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
organization,
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am not getting any challenging role and the financial incentives are
also
not up to the industry standard.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I am looking for a better career prospect and professional growth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I am open to relocate
as well
for my career growth. As you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me during our journey that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction index in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exposure and incentives, I would like to apply for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
position of Sr. Manager in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

I possess a Masters’ Degree in hotel management from
Possible spelling mistake found.
XLRI
, Jamshedpur and have 6 years of relevant experience in hotel management.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if you have any suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
vacancy in any of your esteemed chain of restaurants,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
consider me for the same.

I will be
highly
obliged.

Best regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Tejinder


Mobile no.
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
9876100200
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS letter PrDuring a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Wr v. 76

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
213 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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