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During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. v.3

During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. v. 3
Dear Mr Reynold, I am Paul Strang, and I am lucky enough to have been introduced with you just a few days ago. Not sure, if you will remember me, but I had an opportunity to talk with you about two weeks ago when we both were travelling by air from Boston to Dallas. I was sitting next to you, and after we got introduced, we had some interesting conversations. You were kind enough to suggest to me that I should contact you for a possible job position at one of your restaurants. So, here I am, sir, as I would like to apply for a managerial position at your restaurant. I think that I would be a very suitable candidate for the managerial position in one of your restaurants because I have already worked as an Assistant Human Resource and Payroll Manager for a large and busy residential hotel in my hometown. I have learned a great deal about customers’ needs in the service industry. Besides, I also have a post-graduate diploma in human resource management. So, based on my credentials and experience, I think, I should be able to render excellent service to your company. I would very much like to work for your company. I am hoping that you would give me an opportunity to prove my worth. Yours sincerely, Paul Strang
Dear Mr Reynold,

I am Paul
Strang
, and I am lucky
enough
to have
been introduced
with you
just
a few days ago. Not sure, if you will remember me,
but
I had an opportunity to talk with you about two weeks ago when we both were travelling by air from Boston to Dallas.

I was sitting
next
to you, and after we
got
introduced, we had
some
interesting conversations. You were kind
enough
to suggest to me that I should contact you for a possible job position at one of your restaurants.
So
, here I am, sir, as I would like to apply for a managerial position at your restaurant.

I
think
that I would be a
very
suitable candidate for the managerial position in one of your restaurants
because
I have already worked as an Assistant Human Resource and Payroll Manager for a large and busy residential hotel in my hometown. I have learned a great deal about customers’ needs in the service industry.
Besides
, I
also
have a post-graduate diploma in human resource management.

So
, based on my credentials and experience, I
think
, I should be able to render excellent service to your
company
.

I would
very
much like to work for your
company
. I am hoping that you would give me an opportunity to prove my worth.

Yours
sincerely
,

Paul
Strang
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. v. 3

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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