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You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. v.2

You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. v. 2
Dear Paul, Hope you are doing fine and things are good at your side. Anyway, if I remember correctly when we were talking a few weeks ago, you expressed your interest to go to a music concert of "Living Loud" band if time permits. I think here is your chance to go to a concert by this music band and they will rock the fans at Trivision Stadium in the evening of 27th May. You would be glad to know that I am going to offer you the ticket for this music concert. Actually, I bought this ticket for myself, but, unfortunately, after a few days of purchasing that ticket, one of my cousins requested me to visit his hometown and not to mention, of course, I decided to accompany him to stay at his hometown for a couple of days. But that would also mean that my concert ticket would go wasted as our timing to travel intersects the concert schedule. So, I am offering this ticket to you and I hope you will enjoy the concert. Please visit anytime at my home and meet me at the college library so that I can hand over the ticket to you. Warm wishes, Lucas
Dear Paul,

Hope you are doing fine and things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at your side. Anyway, if I remember
correctly
when we were talking a few weeks ago, you expressed your interest to go to a music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Living Loud
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
band if time permits. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
here is your chance to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
by this music
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
band and
they will rock the fans at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trivision
Stadium in the evening of 27th May.

You would be glad to know that I am going to offer you the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
for this music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
. Actually, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
for myself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, unfortunately, after a few days of purchasing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
, one of my cousins requested me to visit his hometown and not to mention,
of course
, I decided to accompany him to stay at his hometown for a couple of days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that would
also
mean that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
would go wasted as our timing to travel intersects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
schedule.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I am offering this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
to you and I hope you will enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
visit anytime at my home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
me at the college library
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can hand over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
to you.

Warm wishes,

Lucas
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You bought a music concert ticket. However, you are unable to go. So you want to offer the ticket to your friend. v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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