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You are looking for a full-time job, and recently you saw a job opening in an advertisement. v.1

You are looking for a full-time job, and recently you saw a job opening in an advertisement. v. 1
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apply for the assistant manager post in your Hotel - The Adventure Inn, that you have advertised in a local newspaper recently. I would really appreciate if you could spare some of your precious time to further discuss my candidacy in a formal interview. I would like to work as an assistant manager that would enable me to work closely with the hotel staffs and with the management. This way, I would be able to best serve my position on the one hand and learn valuable experience on the other hand. I have completed my graduation from City University in 2017 and my major was Tourism and Hospitality. Afterwards, I have worked for two four-star hotels and my current job as an assistant manager at the Gilbert hotel makes me a suitable candidate for the post. I do not see enough career growth opportunity with my current employer and that's why would like to switch my job. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Should you need any further details, please do not hesitate to call me. Yours sincerely, Paul Jenkins
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the assistant manager post in your
Hotel
-
The Adventure Inn, that you have advertised in a local newspaper recently. I would
really
appreciate if you could spare
some
of your precious time to
further
discuss my candidacy in a formal interview.

I
would like to work as an assistant manager that would enable me to work
closely
with the
hotel
staffs and with the management. This way, I would be able to best serve my position on the one hand and learn valuable experience
on the other hand
.

I have completed my graduation from City University in 2017 and my major was Tourism and Hospitality. Afterwards, I have worked for two four-star
hotels
and my
current
job as an assistant manager at the Gilbert
hotel
makes
me a suitable candidate for the post. I do not
see
enough
career growth opportunity with my
current
employer and that's why would like to switch my job.

I look forward to hearing from you
soon
. Should you need any
further
details
,
please
do not hesitate to call me.

Yours
sincerely
,

Paul Jenkins
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS letter You are looking for a full-time job, and recently you saw a job opening in an advertisement. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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