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You live in a flat and you have a tenancy agreement which states that you must give three months' notice when you wish to leave. You have paid a deposit of two months' rent. Now a member of your family has a problem and you need to give up your flat and return home as soon as possible. v.1

You live in a flat and you have a tenancy agreement which states that you must give three months' notice when you wish to leave. You have paid a deposit of two months' rent. Now a member of your family has a problem and you need to give up your flat and return home as soon as possible. v. 1
Dear Mr Milan, I am a tenant of your apartment D#4 in the Birmingham Garden street. I am writing to ask a favour from you due to a family emergency and I need to vacate your flat next month - 30th June 2020, to be exact. I have signed an agreement while moving into your flat which bounds me to notify you three months prior to empty the flat. I have always respected the contract and paid my rent on time. During my 11 months' stay at your falt, I have never asked your favour but this time I am relying on your kind consideration. My elder brother, who looks after our family business, has been diagnosed with a serious disease and has been transferred to a hospital in Manhattan. My family needs me to look after the business and be with them right now. The circumstance has forced me to give up the training programme that I am pursuing and return home immediately. I have decided to leave England and return my home country on 2nd June 2020. I, therefore, request you to consider my situation and permit me to vacate your flat on a month's notice. I have already paid two month's rent in advance and would request you to return me a month's rent which is £750. I have always known you as a benevolent person and would not have requested your favour otherwise. Yours sincerely, David Sergel
Dear Mr Milan,

I am a tenant of your apartment D#4 in the Birmingham Garden street. I am writing to ask a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
from you due to a family emergency and I need to vacate your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
next
month
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
30th June 2020, to be exact.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have signed an agreement while moving into your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
which bounds me to notify you three months prior to empty the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have always respected the contract and paid my rent on time. During my 11 months' stay at your
Possible spelling mistake found.
falt
, I have never asked your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this time I am relying on your kind consideration. My elder brother, who looks after our family business, has
been diagnosed
with a serious disease and has
been transferred
to a hospital in Manhattan. My family needs me to look after the business and be with them right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

The circumstance has forced me to give up the training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
that I am pursuing and return home immediately. I have decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
England and return my home country on 2nd June 2020.

I,
therefore
, request you to consider my situation and permit me to vacate your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flat
on a month's notice.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have already paid
The apostrophe is probably in the wrong place here. Did you mean "two months' rent"?
two month's rent
in advance and would request you to return me a month's rent which is £750.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have always known you as a benevolent person and would not have requested your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
otherwise
.

Yours
sincerely
,

David
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sergel
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS letter You live in a flat and you have a tenancy agreement which states that you must give three months' notice when you wish to leave. You have paid a deposit of two months' rent. Now a member of your family has a problem and you need to give up your flat and return home as soon as possible. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
240 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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