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You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family. v.3

You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family. v. 3
Dear Mr Nithan, I am Preeti Roy, a 22-year-old student from India. I applied for an English Homestay program at the University of Wellington and I have received a letter from the university, apprising me that you will be my host family. I really appreciate that you have agreed to host me at your house. I am from Delhi, India and I am pursuing my Engineering degree from the University of Technology in Delhi. My father is a doctor and my mother is an architect. I have two siblings and they are junior to me. I applied for the English Homestay programme last June to further enhance my English speaking skills. I was wondering if you could advise me on the weather and etiquette in Wellington as I have never been there. What type of dress should I bring? Could you also inform me of the distance between your home and the university and what will be the easiest way to reach the university? Besides, I am coming to New Zeland for the first time and have no idea about the common cultures and manners you respect. Please advise me on that as well. I will arrive in Wellington on 10th December, probably around 10: 30 in the morning. I want to reach a week earlier as I want to explore the surrounding areas. Could you also inform me of the best way to reach your home from the airport? Looking forward to meeting you soon. Yours sincerely, Preeti Roy
Dear Mr
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nithan
,

I am Preeti Roy, a 22-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
student from India. I applied for an English Homestay program at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Wellington and I have received a letter from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, apprising me that you will be my host family.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
really
appreciate that you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
to host me at your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am from Delhi,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
India and
I am pursuing my Engineering degree from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Technology in Delhi. My father is a doctor and my mother is an architect. I have two siblings and they are junior to me. I applied for the English Homestay
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
last June to
further
enhance my
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was wondering if you could advise me on the weather and etiquette in Wellington as I have never been there. What type of dress should I bring? Could you
also
inform me of the distance between your home and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and what will be the easiest way to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
?
Besides
, I am coming to New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zeland
for the
first
time and have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about the common cultures and manners you respect.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
advise me on that
as well
.

I will arrive in Wellington on 10th December,
probably
around 10: 30 in the morning. I want to reach a week earlier as I want to explore the surrounding areas. Could you
also
inform me of the best way to reach your home from the airport?

Looking forward to meeting you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Preeti Roy
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter You are going to visit New Zealand for an 'English and Homestay' program. You have just received details of your homestay host family. v. 3

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
249 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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