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You have started a course after reading its details in a brochure. Unfortunately it turned out to be totally different from the description in the brochure. Write a letter to the manager, including the following: -Mention the details of the course. -Expla v.2

You have started a course after reading its details in a brochure. Unfortunately it turned out to be totally different from the description in the brochure. Write a letter to the manager, including the following: -Mention the details of the course. -Expla v. 2
Dear sir, I am a native dweller of Ludhiana, living in the model town. The purpose of mine to pen down this epistle is to complain about the wrong information provided in the brochure of your institution. Yours institute provide various courses related the cookery. I read all the details in your broacher and enrolled in the course c003, which deals with South Indian cuisines. As, I have a keen interest to know about the different cuisines which are prevailing all over in South India. Due to this, I joined course with great enthusiasm but the first day they started with North Indian dishes. On that time, I was in dilemma that what is going on and than I asked the instructor than they informed me that C003 was a course in Indian cusinies and South Indian dishes were also a part of this course and it would be taught in the final week of the 12 week course. Actually, I would like to intend in purely South Indian cuisines because I very well is known about the north Indian cuisines, as belong to North India. Fortunately, my mother has great culinary skills and I learnt about all North Indian dishes from her, besides this I love South Indian Dosa and idli, due to this I want to enrolled in this course. If your centre provides this course, I would like to get a transfer to that course. Apart from this, in case such course is not available in your institution, I would like to refund my whole money that I have been paid for the wrong course. It would be very grateful if you provide the correct information in the brochure. I am looking forward to hear from you. Yours sincerely, Aman
Dear sir,

I am a native dweller of Ludhiana, living in the model town. The purpose of mine to pen down this epistle is to complain about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information provided in the brochure of your institution.

Yours institute
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "provides".
provide
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
related the cookery. I read all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in your
Possible spelling mistake found.
broacher
and enrolled in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
c003, which deals with South Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cuisines
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, I have a keen interest to know about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cuisines
which are prevailing all over in South India. Due to this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
with great enthusiasm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
first
day they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
Indian dishes. On that time, I was in dilemma that what is going on and
Did you mean "then"?
than
I asked the instructor than they informed me that C003 was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in Indian
Possible spelling mistake found.
cusinies
and South Indian dishes were
also
a part of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and it would
be taught
in the final week of the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "12-week"
12 week
course.

Actually, I would like to intend in
purely
South Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cuisines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well
is known
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
north
Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cuisines
, as belong to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
India.
Fortunately
, my mother has great culinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and I
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
about all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
Indian dishes from her,
besides
this I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
South Indian
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dosa
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
idli
, due to this I want to
Did you mean "enrol", "enroll"?
enrolled
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. If your
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
provides this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a transfer to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. Apart from this, in case such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is not available in your institution, I would like to refund my whole money that I have
been paid
for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
course.

It would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
grateful if you provide the correct information in the brochure. I am looking forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to hearing".
to hear
from you.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Aman
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS letter You have started a course after reading its details in a brochure. Unfortunately it turned out to be totally different from the description in the brochure. Write a letter to the manager, including the following: -Mention the details of the course. -Expla v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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