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You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time however; you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. - explain what you like about the cafeteria- say what is wrong- suggest how it could be improved. v.2

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time however; you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. - explain what you like about the cafeteria- say what is wrong- suggest how it could be improved. v. 2
To whom it may concern, My name is Amir and I have been your customer since three years ago and I think I ate all your menu during these years. I am writing to express concern about your business and I would be great full if you could change something in your café to improve it. Firstly, I should say that the quality of your foods are decreasing and it goes back to your first hand materials, which are not fresh enough. I should mention that your staff are not friendly like past and they are too serious, and they do not have goof communication with clients. Finally, I think that you need to change the interior design of your café. I mean that, your café needs to be reconstructed with new materials to encourage students to come here. If you need further help, feel free and contact me by number 9876543210 or email@gmail. com Sincerely yours,
To whom it may concern,

My name is Amir and I have been your customer since three years ago and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I ate all your menu during these years. I am writing to express concern about your business and I would be great full if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
something in your café to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it.
Firstly
, I should say that the quality of your foods are decreasing and it goes back to your
'first hand' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "first-hand".
first hand
materials, which are not fresh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. I should mention that your staff are not friendly like
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
past and
they are too serious, and they do not have
Did you mean "good"?
goof
communication with clients.
Finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the interior design of your café. I mean that, your café needs to
be reconstructed
with new materials to encourage students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
here.

If you need
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, feel free and contact me by number 9876543210 or
Possible spelling mistake found.
email@gmail
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com


Sincerely
yours,
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS letter You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time however; you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. - explain what you like about the cafeteria- say what is wrong- suggest how it could be improved. v. 2

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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