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You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v.4

You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v. 4
Dear Joy, Hope this letter finds you in good spirits and health. As you are aware, I am currently in Chicago for a month for some professional work. I am writing this letter to share my experience of visiting the 'Science Museum' in Chicago Downtown, which I thought you would enjoy. The entry fee was $15 but I was lucky to get a free pass from one of my colleagues. This museum is visited by a large number of local citizens and international tourists. The ground floor displays the invention of robots, with many robots on display and details on how they were developed. I learned that theories based on the abacus were further expanded to enhance this technology. The first floor displays the extinct animals, skeletons of dinosaurs and the history behind their extermination. This was quite interesting. The second floor has a shop where you can buy books and souvenirs. Kiosks are placed on all floors which provide extensive information about the displayed items. It was a great learning opportunity and a fabulous experience that I will cherish for a long. I wish you had been with me when I visited the museum. Why don't you write me back about things you have done recently and enjoyed? Warm wishes, Tom
Dear Joy,

Hope this letter finds you in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
spirits and health. As you are aware, I am
currently
in Chicago for a month for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professional work. I am writing this letter to share my experience of visiting the 'Science Museum' in Chicago Downtown, which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
you would enjoy.

The entry fee was $15
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was lucky to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a free pass from one of my colleagues. This museum
is visited
by
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
local citizens and international tourists. The ground
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floor
displays the invention of robots, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
robots on display and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on how they
were developed
. I learned that theories based on the abacus were
further
expanded to enhance this technology. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floor
displays the extinct animals, skeletons of dinosaurs and the history behind their extermination. This was quite interesting. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floor
has a shop where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
books and souvenirs. Kiosks
are placed
on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
floors
which provide extensive information about the displayed items.

It was a great learning opportunity and a fabulous experience that I will cherish for a long. I wish you had been with me when I visited the museum.

Why don't you write me back about things you have done recently and enjoyed?

Warm wishes,

Tom
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS letter You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v. 4

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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