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You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v.2

You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v. 2
Dear Laura, I have just returned home from an exciting trip to Australia and visiting the National Museum of Australia was one of the fabulous activities of this tour. I cannot wait to share my experience with you. We stayed in Australia for a week and on our second day, we went to the National Museum of Australia, located on Acton Peninsula, next to the Australian National University in Canberra. The museum's innovative use of new technologies is unprecedented. Initially, I thought that it's not going to be a fun time but to my surprise, I actually got fascinated by the fabulous collection the museum has. The Entrance and the interior blew my mind away. The museum's stunning architecture offered me an extraordinary opportunity to explore the rich and diverse stories of Australia and its people. From pre-colonial settlement to modern Australia, the museum has it all. The Pearling exhibition was excellent from a historical perspective. The museum is divided into 4 galleries and each has many glass cases filled with stories. The experience was stunning. I wish you had been with me there. I would absolutely recommend you visit this museum whenever possible. I would like to meet you soon and tell you stories about my tour. Take care. Yours truly, Emma
Dear Laura,

I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
returned home from an exciting trip to Australia and visiting the National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
of Australia was one of the fabulous activities of this tour. I cannot wait to share my experience with you.

We stayed in Australia for a week and on our second day, we went to the National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
of Australia, located on Acton Peninsula,
next
to the Australian National University in Canberra. The museum's innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of new technologies
is unprecedented
.
Initially
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it's not going to be a fun time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to my surprise, I actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
fascinated by the fabulous collection the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has.

The Entrance and the interior blew my mind away. The museum's stunning architecture offered me an extraordinary opportunity to explore the rich and diverse stories of Australia and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. From
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-colonial
settlement to modern Australia, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
has it all. The Pearling exhibition was excellent from a historical perspective. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is divided
into 4 galleries and each has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
glass cases filled with stories.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
experience was stunning.

I wish you had been with me there. I would
absolutely
recommend you visit this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
whenever possible.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you stories about my tour. Take care.

Yours
truly
,

Emma
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS letter You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
212 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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