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You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v.3

You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v. 3
Dear Ali, Hope you are doing good. I have something very interesting to share with you and that is why writing to you today. Last Thursday, my dad and I decided to take a trip to the Quetta Museum, a stunning Archaeological Museum, located on Steward Road, Balochistan. He wanted me to learn more about the history of our country and this museum was a perfect place to start with. The museum is full of historical artefacts relating to the period before the separation of Pakistan and India. Among other things, it exhibits the first-ever constitution drafted for our country, the first-ever proposed national anthem that was handwritten by Sir Syed Khan. It also showcases the wax sculptures of many legendary figures and the founding father of our country. Finally, the display figurines from Moenjodaro in Sindh province, pottery pieces and Stone Age artefacts are worth observing. Honestly, it felt amazing. It was as if I time travelled to the pre-partition era! After observing all these artefacts, I am filled with even more respect for our ancestors as they had sacrificed a lot in order to gain independence for us. I say we should catch up some time soon and visit this museum together. Warm wishes, Sam
Dear Ali,

Hope you are doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. I have something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting to share with you and
that is
why writing to you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Last Thursday, my dad and I decided to take a trip to the Quetta
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
, a stunning Archaeological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
, located on Steward Road,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Balochistan
. He wanted me to learn more about the history of our country and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
was a perfect place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is full of historical
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
relating to the period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the separation of Pakistan and India. Among other things, it exhibits the
first
-ever constitution drafted for our country, the
first
-ever proposed national anthem that was handwritten by Sir
Possible spelling mistake found.
Syed
Khan. It
also
showcases the wax sculptures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
legendary figures and the founding father of our country.
Finally
, the display figurines from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moenjodaro
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sindh
province, pottery pieces and Stone Age
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
are worth observing.

Honestly
, it felt amazing. It was as if I time travelled to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-partition
era! After observing all these
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
, I
am filled
with even more respect for our ancestors as they had sacrificed a lot in order to gain independence for us.

I say we should catch up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and visit this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
together.

Warm wishes,

Sam
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS letter You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. v. 3

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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