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You have recently started for an new company. Write a letter to english speaking friend and In your letter: Explain the reasons why you changed jobDescribe your new jobTell him/her your other news. v.2

You have recently started for an new company. Write a letter to english speaking friend and In your letter: Explain the reasons why you changed jobDescribe your new jobTell him/her your other news. v. 2
Dear John, Hope this letter finds you healthy and heartily. I' m writing you to share that I' ve just joined GSK pharmaceuticals limited. Albeit the prominent reasons behind this transition are better career opportunity and higher salary package. As you know, I' m only one person who earns for my family, so it' s quite important for me to do job which strengthen my financial position. Besides, it has fulfilled my dream of working with multinational organization too. Let me share more about my current role and responsibilities. Being as regional business manager, I' ve to look after whole Gujarat. There are about 15 team members who report to me. My main duties are not only performance but also people development. What' s more, although my current dwelling is quite spacious to live with my family, I' ve recently purchased my dream house. I am so excited! Hope you too. I am planning to conduct small function next month. Without fail, you have to come with your whole family at that time. Give my best regards to your family and see you soon. Warm wishes, James
Dear John,

Hope this letter finds you healthy and
heartily
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m writing you to share that
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; ve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
GSK pharmaceuticals limited.

Albeit the prominent reasons behind this transition are better career opportunity and higher salary package. As you know,
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one person who earns for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for me to do job which strengthen my financial position.
Besides
, it has fulfilled my dream of working with multinational organization too.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me share more about my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
role and responsibilities. Being as regional business manager,
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; ve to look after whole Gujarat. There are about 15 team members who report to me. My main duties are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
performance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
development.

Possible spelling mistake found.
What&
#039; s more, although my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
dwelling is quite spacious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; ve recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
my dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited! Hope you too. I am planning to conduct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
function
next
month. Without fail, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with your whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
at that time.

Give my best regards to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm wishes,

James
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS letter You have recently started for an new company. Write a letter to english speaking friend and In your letter: Explain the reasons why you changed jobDescribe your new jobTell him/her your other news. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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