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You have recently ordered an item through the Internet, but you are not happy with the product. v.2

You have recently ordered an item through the Internet, but you are not happy with the product. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, Two weeks ago I ordered a leather wallet from your online store. I was excited when it arrived but very disappointed to find that the product was poorly made and unusable. I am hoping that you will replace it soon. In relation to the specifics of the order, I purchased this leather wallet through your website called Fashion Era on July 27th using my PayPal account. The order number is W34405 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt. The issue with the wallet is that the credit card pockets are sewn shut and I am unable to store my cards inside securely. The picture of the item on your website clearly shows cards safely stored in the little pouches so I’m sure this is a manufacturing flaw. Besides, I ordered a brown wallet but to my surprise the delivered product is black! As a solution, and because I really like the wallet, I am hoping that you will agree to send me another one for free. Otherwise, I would like a full refund and I will be contacting PayPal complaints if I do not hear back from you in regards to this within a week. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Adam Water
Dear Sir or Madam,

Two weeks ago I ordered a leather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
from your online store. I
was excited
when it arrived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappointed to find that the product was
poorly
made and unusable. I am hoping that you will replace it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

In relation to the specifics of the order, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
this leather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
through your website called Fashion Era on July 27th using my PayPal account. The order number is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
W34405 and
I am attaching a copy of my receipt.

The issue with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
is that the credit card pockets
are sewn
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shut and
I am unable to store my cards inside
securely
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
picture of the item on your website
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
cards
safely
stored in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
pouches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I’m sure this is a manufacturing flaw.
Besides
, I ordered a brown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to my surprise the delivered product is black!

As a solution, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
really
like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
, I am hoping that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me another one for free.
Otherwise
, I would like a full refund and I will be contacting PayPal complaints if I do not hear back from you
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
this within a week.

Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Adam Water
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS letter You have recently ordered an item through the Internet, but you are not happy with the product. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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