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You have lost an item on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letterDescribe the item. Explain where and when you left it. Say what action you would like the company to take. v.2

You have lost an item on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letterDescribe the item. Explain where and when you left it. Say what action you would like the company to take. v. 2
Dear sir/Madam, I am Writing to complain about my item which is lost in the train. It is a laptop, Brand name is Dell and size is 15 inch. Furthermore it is black color one which I had put on my backpack. Actually, I went from Kandy to Colombo on 15th of October in this year and also I booked intercity train, 1st class ticket which is departure at 5. 00 PM. In addition, my ticket number is TKC000789. Moreover I already put my backpack to the cupboard that is top of the my seat, my seat number is 070 and also, last time i saw it at Gampola station because I took my pen from side pocket in bag but I can not say what is the actual place it is lost. Finally, I would like to say please check CCTV camera videos in the train and every station after pass Gampola one. Because my laptop data is very important to the government in Sri Lanka. Therefore I need to find it as soon as possible. I am looking forward your response as soon as possible. Thanks, Your Faithfully Mohan
Dear sir/Madam,

I am Writing to complain about my item which
is lost
in the train. It is a laptop, Brand name is Dell and size is
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
15 inch
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it is black color one which I had put on my backpack.

Actually, I went from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kandy
to Colombo on 15th of October in this year and
also
I booked intercity train, 1st
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
ticket which is departure at 5. 00 PM.
In addition
, my ticket number is TKC000789.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
I already put my backpack to the cupboard
that is
top of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my seat" or "the seat"?
the my seat
, my seat number is 070 and
also
, last time
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
it at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gampola
station
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I took my pen from side pocket in bag
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I can not say what is the actual place it
is lost
.

Finally
, I would like to say
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
CCTV camera videos in the train and every station after pass
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gampola
one.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
my laptop data is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in Sri Lanka.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I need to find it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

I am looking forward your response as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Thanks,

Your
Faithfully


Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohan
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS letter You have lost an item on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letterDescribe the item. Explain where and when you left it. Say what action you would like the company to take. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
190 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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