Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You have just moved into a new home and are planning to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. v.2

You have just moved into a new home and are planning to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. v. 2
Dear Ms Meena, I am Priya and I have recently moved with my family into the house next to yours. I am a doctor and I live with my daughter, and husband, who is a lawyer. I have planned to throw a party and invite some guests on the 10th of June and I would really appreciate your presence at that party. Since this is the first time our family is moving into a house that we own, we have planned to throw a party and invite some friends, colleagues, relatives and neighbours. We have arranged a dinner party and want to share this special moment with the people we care about and love. I have also planned to arrange a music show which would make the event more enjoyable. I hope you would not mind the concert! I would feel very delighted if you could join the party. My apology for any inconvenience it might cause to you, but I assure you that I have already made arrangements to make it less noisy by a plan to conduct games for children and keep them engaged. We will also place soundproof coverage at the entrance of my house. Hope you will accept my invitation and join the party. Yours sincerely, Priya Roy
Dear Ms
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meena
,

I am Priya and I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
with my family into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
next
to yours. I am a doctor and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with my daughter, and husband, who is a lawyer.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have planned to throw a party and invite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guests on the 10th of June and I would
really
appreciate your presence at that party.

Since this is the
first
time our family is moving into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, we have planned to throw a party and invite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends, colleagues, relatives and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
. We have arranged a dinner party and want to share this special moment with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we care about and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. I have
also
planned to arrange a music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
more enjoyable. I hope you would not mind the concert!
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
delighted if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the party.

My apology for any inconvenience it might cause to you,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I assure you that I have already made arrangements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it less noisy by a plan to conduct games for children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them engaged. We will
also
place soundproof coverage at the entrance of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

Hope you will accept my invitation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the party.

Yours
sincerely
,

Priya Roy
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You have just moved into a new home and are planning to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts