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You have had a bank account for a few years. Recently you received a letter from the bank stating that your account is $240 overdrawn and that you will be charged $70 which will be taken directly from your account. You know that this information is incorrect. v.4

You have had a bank account for a few years. Recently you received a letter from the bank stating that your account is $240 overdrawn and that you will be charged $70 which will be taken directly from your account. You know that this information is incorrect. v. 4
Dear Sir  or Madam, I am writing in response to a letter that I received from your bank a few days ago. The letter stated that I am $240 overdrawn and that you will be charging me $70 due to this. I request you to verify the information before imposing the charge. I would like to point out that the reason I am overdrawn is because of a mistake made by your bank. If you analyse the recond you will notice that I wrote several weeks ago explaining the situation. For the last twelve months, I have been paying $300 a month for a car I bought. The monthly payments were taken directly from my bank account. However, two months ago I sold the car and I wrote to you instructing to stop paying the monthly instalments. I received a letter from you acknowledging my request, but, for some reason, nothing was done about it. Another $300 instalment has been paid this month and this is the reason I am shown overdrawn in my statement. I would like you to contact the garage from where I bought the car. Please, explain your error and ask them to return the money. Yours faithfully, Harold Acton
Dear Sir
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
or Madam,

I am writing in response to a letter that I received from your bank a few days ago. The letter stated that I am $240 overdrawn and that you will be charging me $70 due to this. I request you to verify the information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
imposing the charge.

I would like to point out that the reason I am overdrawn is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a mistake made by your bank.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
recond
you will notice that I wrote several weeks ago explaining the situation. For the last twelve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
, I have been paying $300 a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
for a car I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
. The monthly payments
were taken
directly
from my bank account.
However
, two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
ago I sold the car and I wrote to you instructing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
paying the monthly
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalments' is British English.
instalments
. I received a letter from you acknowledging my request,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason, nothing
was done
about it. Another $300
Possible spelling mistake. 'instalment' is British English.
instalment
has
been paid
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
and this is the reason I
am shown
overdrawn in my statement.

I would like you to contact the garage from where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the car.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
your error and ask them to return the money.

Yours
faithfully
,

Harold Acton
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter You have had a bank account for a few years. Recently you received a letter from the bank stating that your account is $240 overdrawn and that you will be charged $70 which will be taken directly from your account. You know that this information is incorrect. v. 4

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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