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You have had a bank account for a few years. Recently you received a letter from the bank stating that your account is $240 overdrawn and that you will be charged $70 which will be taken directly from your account. You know that this information is incorrect. v.3

You have had a bank account for a few years. Recently you received a letter from the bank stating that your account is $240 overdrawn and that you will be charged $70 which will be taken directly from your account. You know that this information is incorrect. v. 3
Dear Sir  or Madam, I am writing this letter in response to a letter that I received from the City Bank yesterday. The letter stated that $240 was overdrawn from my account and I will be charged $70 due to this. However, I think this mistake from the bank's end as I have not overdrawn any amount. My monthly house rent till October was $400 and it went directly to the house owner’s account from my checking account. Last month I left the house and moved into my own apartment. Besides, I instructed the bank not to vest the money anymore to the owner’s account. According to my statement, last month's rent, which is equivalent to $400, was debited from my account. This should not have happened and I should not be responsible for the mistake. I hope you would take steps to reverse the transaction and do not charge me any fee for a mistake made by one of your employees. However, I will request my previous landlord so that he returns the money. I expect you will give immediate attention to this matter. I look forward to receiving your response. Yours faithfully, Lumen Khan
Dear Sir
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
or Madam,

I am writing this letter in response to a letter that I received from the City Bank yesterday. The letter stated that $240 was overdrawn from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
account
and I will
be charged
$70 due to this.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this mistake from the bank's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
as I have not overdrawn any amount.

My monthly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent till October was $400 and it went
directly
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
owner’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
account
from my checking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
account
. Last month I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
apartment.
Besides
, I instructed the bank not to vest the money anymore to the owner’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
account
. According to my statement, last month's rent, which is equivalent to $400,
was debited
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
account
. This should not have happened and I should not be responsible for the mistake.

I hope you would take steps to reverse the transaction and do not charge me any fee for a mistake made by one of your employees.
However
, I will request my previous landlord
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he returns the money.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
you will give immediate attention to this matter. I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours
faithfully
,

Lumen Khan
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS letter You have had a bank account for a few years. Recently you received a letter from the bank stating that your account is $240 overdrawn and that you will be charged $70 which will be taken directly from your account. You know that this information is incorrect. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
195 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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