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You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v.2

You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v. 2
Dear Mr Alfred, I am a 3rd year nursing major student and a regular borrower of books from our college library. I have borrowed two reference books from the library a week ago but I am afraid I cannot return them in time. I am writing to request an extension to the return date to avoid any penalty or fine. I have borrowed two books titled 'Psychiatric Nursing 5th Edition' by Sheila Videbeck and 'Psychology for Nurses' by Harold Mcgarry on 15th September from the college library. My library card number is 442805 and these two books were issued to this card. My due date to return these books is tomorrow. However, it is very unfortunate that my grandmother has been admitted to a hospital in my hometown due to her heart failure and I will travel to Manila, the capital of the Philippines to visit her. I guess at the time you are reading this letter, I am on my way to Manila. I will probably stay there a couple of days and thus unable to return the books before the deadline. Considering my situation, I am hoping you would permit me to keep the books four more days. Kindly, extend the return date to 27th September so that I can avoid any fine or penalty for a late submission. I am expecting your kind consideration regarding this matter. Yours sincerely, Lyn Olivar
Dear Mr Alfred,

I am a 3rd year nursing major student and a regular borrower of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from our college library. I have borrowed two reference
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from the library a week ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am afraid I cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
them in time.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am writing to request an extension to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
date to avoid any penalty or fine.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have borrowed two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
titled 'Psychiatric Nursing 5th Edition' by Sheila
Possible spelling mistake found.
Videbeck
and 'Psychology for Nurses' by Harold
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mcgarry
on 15th September from the college library. My library card number is 442805 and these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
were issued
to this card. My due date to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is tomorrow.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unfortunate that my grandmother has
been admitted
to a hospital in my hometown due to her heart failure and I will travel to Manila, the capital of the Philippines to visit her. I guess at the time you are reading this letter, I am on my way to Manila. I will
probably
stay there a couple of days and
thus
unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the deadline.

Considering my situation, I am hoping you would permit me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
four more days. Kindly, extend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
date to 27th September
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can avoid any fine or penalty for a late submission.

I am expecting your kind consideration regarding this matter.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Lyn
Possible spelling mistake found.
Olivar
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS letter You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
233 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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