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You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v.3

You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v. 3
Dear Miss Penny, On 15th February I borrowed three books from the school library and I am due to return the books on 22nd February. Unfortunately, I am travelling to New Jersey tomorrow morning to see my uncle who has been taken to a local hospital. Thus I would be unable to return the borrowed books in due time. I am hoping you would consider the late return of the book and do not impose any overdue fine on me. I borrowed these books using my library card - PA452147 on 22nd February and I am supposed to return those by 27th February. But, I regret to inform you that I would not be able to return them in time. My uncle, who is very close to me, fall ill last evening and was admitted to a hospital. I will travel to visit him earlier tomorrow. Regrettably, the library will remain closed tomorrow and my deadline to return the books is the day after tomorrow. Considering the current situation, I cannot return the borrowed book before 5th March as I might stay in New Jersey a couple of days. Therefore, I request you to extend the date of return by another week. I am hoping you would not impose any late fine on me. However, if this is not possible, I am willing to pay any fine for the late submission of borrowed books. I am hoping to hear from you soon. Yours sincerely, Ramanuj  Arjun
Dear Miss Penny,

On 15th February I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowed
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
from the school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
library and
I am due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on 22nd February. Unfortunately, I am travelling to New Jersey tomorrow morning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
my uncle who has
been taken
to a local hospital.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
I would be unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in due time. I am hoping you would consider the late
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and do not impose any overdue fine on me.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowed
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
using my library card
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
PA452147 on 22nd
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
February and
I
am supposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
those by 27th February.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I regret to inform you that I would not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
them in time. My uncle, who is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close to me,
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "falls".
fall
ill last evening and
was admitted
to a hospital. I will travel to visit him earlier tomorrow.
Regrettably
, the library will remain closed tomorrow and my deadline to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is the day after tomorrow.

Considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, I cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
5th March as I might stay in New Jersey a couple of days.
Therefore
, I request you to extend the date of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
return
by another week. I am hoping you would not impose any late fine on me.
However
, if this is not possible, I am willing to pay any fine for the late submission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowed
books.

I am hoping to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Ramanuj
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Arjun
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS letter You borrowed some books from your school or college library. Unfortunately, you have to go away to visit a sick relative and cannot return the books in time. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
245 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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