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You are planning to go abroad for study. You wish to do a part time job. Ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to him and in your letter: . Give some details of your study plans. explain why you need a part time job. suggest how your f v.2

You are planning to go abroad for study. You wish to do a part time job. Ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to him and in your letter: . Give some details of your study plans. explain why you need a part time job. suggest how your f v. 2
Hi Malisa I Hope that this epistle of mine will find you in good health and your professional life is going good. I am penning this letter to tell you about my planning to do higher studies in Australia and need your assistance in finding a job. I have decided to do masters in Data Science for Python from Australia. I applied for third degree of education in the University of Australia and the institute provides me an offer letter also. My course will start in next month. I have also cleared an IELTS exam as it is mandatory to apply for student visa. I want you to help me by finding a part time job so that I can pay my fees and handle my all the expenses while living in unknown city. As you know well that my father is the only earning hand in our family. He has to run the house as well as has to pay college fees of my younger brother. My father is not financially strong that he will also pay my university expenses. He has arranged money for my tickets by withdrawing from his fixed deposit account. You are living in Sydney from long time and have lots of contacts. So, it would be easy for you to find a part-time job for me so that I would not become burden on my parents. Take care! ! and give my love to your children. I will let you know about the flight tickets as soon as I will book. Yours truly Flora
Hi
Possible spelling mistake found.
Malisa


I Hope that this epistle of mine will find you in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health and your professional life is going
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. I am penning this letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about my planning to do higher studies in Australia and need your assistance in finding a job.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have decided to do masters in Data Science for Python from Australia.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
applied for third degree of education in the University of Australia and the institute provides me an offer letter
also
. My course will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in
next
month. I have
also
cleared an IELTS exam as it is mandatory to apply for student visa.

I want you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me by finding a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can pay my fees and handle my all the expenses while living in unknown city.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you know well that my father is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earning hand in our family. He
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
run the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay college fees of my younger brother. My father is not
financially
strong that he will
also
pay my university expenses. He has arranged money for my tickets by withdrawing from his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
deposit account.

You are living in Sydney from long time and have lots of contacts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would be easy for you to find a part-time job for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I would not become burden on my parents.

Take care! !
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to your children. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know about the flight tickets as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I will book.

Yours
truly


Flora
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS letter You are planning to go abroad for study. You wish to do a part time job. Ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to him and in your letter: . Give some details of your study plans. explain why you need a part time job. suggest how your f v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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