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You are going to another country to study. you will like to do a part-time job. While you are studying, so you want to ask a friend lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. İn your letter, -give details of your study plans. - explain why v.7

You are going to another country to study. you will like to do a part-time job. While you are studying, so you want to ask a friend lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. İn your letter, -give details of your study plans. - explain why v. 7
Dear Kevin I hope that you are very good and this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter to inform you regarding my school program that I will attend and to get handful of advice from you. As I have mentioned before that at last, I have been accepted by Greenwich University as graduate student. You can imagine that how I am happy when I hear that. Since the program will be continue for four year, it would be perfect idea that working in some part-time jobs in order to cover tuition fees, cost of living and accommodation prices. I do not experience regarding finding jobs or interview with employers therefore you could check on some jobs advertisement around your zone where you live for me? As you know I worked as a waiter barman and ball boy in high school years that why I can do it whatever you find related to job. Thank you for your help and I know that I owe something in the near future. All the best
Dear Kevin

I hope that you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and this letter finds you well.

I am writing this letter to inform you regarding my school program that I will attend and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
handful of advice from you.

As I have mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that at last, I have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by Greenwich University as graduate student. You can imagine that how I am happy when I hear that. Since the program will be
Consider using the past participle "continued"?
continue
for four year, it would be perfect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part-time jobs in order to cover tuition fees, cost of living and accommodation prices. I do not experience regarding finding jobs or interview with employers
therefore
you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "jobs'" or "job's"?
jobs
advertisement around your zone where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for me? As you know I worked as a waiter barman and ball boy in high school years that why I can do it whatever you find related to job.

Thank you for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and I know that I owe something in the near future.

All the best
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS letter You are going to another country to study. you will like to do a part-time job. While you are studying, so you want to ask a friend lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. İn your letter, -give details of your study plans. - explain why v. 7

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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