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Write a letter to your manager explaining how to improve the productivity in the company you work for. You should: Describe the current condition of the companyRequest for changes that you think will improve the situationPersuade why its a good investment v.1

Write a letter to your manager explaining how to improve the productivity in the company you work for. You should: Describe the current condition of the companyRequest for changes that you think will improve the situationPersuade why its a good investment v. 1
Dear Sir, With all due respect, I would like to inform you about the current condition of the different equipment in our manufacturing plant of our company, Honda Limited. The situation is quite dreadful and the efficiency of the equipment is well below expected. Furthermore, the current staff are not trained to handle the materials and facilities. As a result, the maintenance cost if adversely affecting our profits. I have a few recommendations to make and I hope you will take this into consideration within the next few months. First of all, most of our mechanics and electricians need to be trained to use the latest equipment. Furthermore, some of the old equipment is consuming too much energy and releasing excessive amounts of pollutants. Hence, they should be replaced immediately. Last but not least, the logistics and supply of different materials is not well managed. If an experienced personnel is put in charge, then we can cut down costs and increase profits. I think that the suggested areas are good improvements and the return on investment will be high since it is likely that these will result in increased concentration of the staff due to more utilization of the resources as well as optimization of the production process. Please let me know if you need detailed outline of the different upgrades. I am happy to assist you in any matter regarding this. Sincerely Yours.
Dear Sir,

With all due respect, I would like to inform you about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
condition of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
in our manufacturing plant of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, Honda Limited. The situation is quite dreadful and the efficiency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
is well below
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
staff are not trained to handle the materials and facilities.
As a result
, the maintenance cost if
adversely
affecting our profits.

I have a few recommendations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and I hope you will take this into consideration within the
next
few months.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, most of our mechanics and electricians need to
be trained
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
.
Furthermore
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
is consuming too much energy and releasing excessive amounts of pollutants.
Hence
, they should
be replaced
immediately. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the logistics and supply of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
materials is not well managed. If an experienced personnel
is put
in charge, then we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down costs and increase profits.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the suggested areas are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
improvements and the return on investment will be high since it is likely that these will result in increased concentration of the staff due to more utilization of the resources
as well
as optimization of the production process.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know if you need detailed outline of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
upgrades. I am happy to assist you in any matter regarding this.

Sincerely
Yours.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS letter Write a letter to your manager explaining how to improve the productivity in the company you work for. You should: Describe the current condition of the companyRequest for changes that you think will improve the situationPersuade why its a good investment v. 1

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
234 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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