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You migrated to another country. Write a letter to your friend to describe your present life and tell him/her why you chose the country? v.2

You migrated to another country. Write a letter to your friend to describe your present life and tell him/her why you chose the country? v. 2
Dear Nayan, How are you? We haven' t talked for a long time so I decided to check on you. As you might already know that I migrated to australia last December. After a transitory couple of months, I have finally settled down and now I am enjoying the different way of lifestyle here. since I obtained my professional engineering license, I have been planning to migrate to Melbourne, the second biggest city in Oceania. my sister moved here about 5 years ago as a civil engineer and she told me that the job market here was great since they were hiring fresh engineers for a good salary. Once I migrated a few months back, I started looking for corporate jobs and finally got hired at Toyota. The pay is good and they have two paid holidays at the end of the year. I take weekend trips to different mountains for hiking and apart from that the weather and food here is amazing. I really like the people here and the society. The locals are friendly and I have made a girlfriend here. she is an amazing Australian folk who really connects with me. I hope you make a trip to australia soon and meet us. hoping to hear back from you soon.
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nayan
,

How are you? We
Possible spelling mistake found.
haven&
#039; t talked for a long time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on you.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you might already know that I migrated to
Possible spelling mistake found.
australia
last December. After a transitory couple of months, I have
finally
settled down and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am enjoying the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of lifestyle here.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
since
I obtained my professional engineering license, I have been planning to migrate to Melbourne, the second biggest city in Oceania.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
sister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
here about 5 years ago as a civil
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
engineer and
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that the job market here was great since they were hiring fresh engineers for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary. Once I migrated a few months back, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
looking for corporate jobs and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
hired at Toyota. The pay is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
good and
they have two paid holidays at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year. I take weekend trips to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mountains for hiking and apart from that the weather and food here is amazing.

I
really
like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
here and the society. The locals are friendly and I have made a girlfriend here.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
she
is an amazing Australian folk who
really
connects with me. I hope you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a trip to
Possible spelling mistake found.
australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
us. hoping to hear back from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS letter You migrated to another country. Write a letter to your friend to describe your present life and tell him/her why you chose the country? v. 2

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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