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You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practice in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: •describ v.2

You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practice in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: •describ v. 2
Dear Sir, I am John, a team member from the Trinity music band, writing this with concern about the letter we received from community. I hope to get permission from you to allot an alternate time for of practice in the community hall. The letter which we received say that we no longer can use the hall for our music practice and look for alternative. However, as a young group of musicians we concentrate more on lyrics which promotes peace and equity in the society. Primarily, the main motto of this band is not to make money out of it, but for a great cause. Many of the young stars follow us through social media. We often attend voluntary programs and do social works as a team. The community requires this group as it will promote for their hale and healthy being. Music is the one of the best recreation which activates all the senses an individual. Moreover, the senior citizens and kids will be more benefited out of this. As we are banned by the community hall, we will find it hard to get another hall for practice and it might be more expensive to bear. On behalf of the team I would like you to reconsider the decision taken by the community. We are happy even if the practice can be permitted in the alternate days such as, Monday and Thursday. I look forward to hearing from you soon and please do the needful. Yours Faithfully John
Dear Sir,

I am John, a team member from the Trinity music band, writing this with concern about the letter we received from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. I hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
permission from you to allot an alternate time for of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
hall.

The letter which we received say that we no longer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the hall for our music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and look for alternative.
However
, as a young group of musicians we concentrate more on lyrics which promotes peace and equity in the society.
Primarily
, the main motto of this band is not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money out of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for a great cause.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the young stars follow us through social media. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
attend voluntary programs and do social works as a team.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
requires this group as it will promote for their hale and healthy being. Music is the one of the best recreation which activates all the senses an individual.
Moreover
, the senior citizens and kids will be more benefited out of this.

As we
are banned
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
hall, we will find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
another hall for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
and it might be more expensive to bear. On behalf of the team I would like you to reconsider the decision taken by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. We are happy even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
can
be permitted
in the alternate days such as, Monday and Thursday.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
do the needful.

Yours
Faithfully


John
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS letter You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practice in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: •describ v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
248 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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