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You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall You have been told however that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall Write a letter to the manager In the letter describe what v.2

You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall You have been told however that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall Write a letter to the manager In the letter describe what v. 2
Dear Sir, I am Sayu from Gallileo band practising music along with my other musicians in the group on every Tuesdays and Fridays evening in your community hall located in Hammersmith, London. I am writing to you Today that we have been advised recently that the community hall will not be available on our usual rehearsal days. We together, Gallileo band, organise many public events to raise a fund for our community development and also to donate some money for free education to the middle class students that we have recently introduced. I would like to bring to your note that, our community’s name and benefits that we offer to the poor people are established through our musician trope wherever we host our event. Therefore, our community is getting recognized not only locally but also throughout the nation. Consequently, we receive more donations from various people. We are fine to adjust our practising time instead of Tuesday and Friday evenings, we can push forward to Wednesday and Saturday Mornings. I look forward to hearing your usual support. Your sincerely, Sayu
Dear Sir,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sayu
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gallileo
band
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
music along with my other musicians in the group on every Tuesdays and Fridays evening in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
hall located in Hammersmith, London. I am writing to you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
that we have
been advised
recently that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
hall will not be available on our usual rehearsal days.

We together,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gallileo
band,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to raise a fund for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
development and
also
to donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for free education to the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
students that we have recently introduced. I would like to bring to your note that, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community’s
name and benefits that we offer to the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are established
through our musician trope wherever we host our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
Therefore
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is getting recognized not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
locally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
throughout the nation.
Consequently
, we receive more donations from various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. We are fine to adjust our
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
time
instead
of Tuesday and Friday evenings, we can push forward to Wednesday and Saturday Mornings.

I look forward to hearing your usual support.

Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sayu
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS letter You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall You have been told however that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall Write a letter to the manager In the letter describe what v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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