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You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Monday and Wednesday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. v.2

You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Monday and Wednesday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. v. 2
Dear Mr Ross, Hope you are doing excellent. I am writing this letter on behalf of “Omega Music Group” to let you know how sorry and disappointed we really are after learning that we will not be able to use the community hall for the purpose of practising music. Not sure what exactly led you to take this decision, but we have been practising music on Monday and Wednesday evening in this community hall for more than two years without any issue. By the way, we also try to help the young high school students in our community to learn different types of band music so that they can also become some expert musicians in future. We also try to organize musical concerts on different occasions in our city for free to raise funds for humanitarian causes, apart from attending community welfare programmes. So, as you can see, we are not causing any harm to the community, rather uplifting its spirit. Therefore, I would like to request you to reconsider your decision and allow us to keep practising on any other days, possibly on weekends, if Monday and Wednesday evenings are not convenient for you. Yours sincerely, Timothy Lee
Dear Mr Ross,

Hope you are doing excellent. I am writing this letter on behalf of “Omega Music Group” to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know how sorry and disappointed we
really
are after learning that we will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
hall for the purpose of
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
music.

Not sure what exactly led you to take this decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we have been
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
music on Monday and Wednesday evening in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
hall for more than two years without any issue. By the way, we
also
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the young high school students in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of band music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
also
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expert musicians
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. We
also
try to organize musical concerts on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occasions in our city for free to raise funds for humanitarian causes, apart from attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
welfare
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, we are not causing any harm to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
,
rather
uplifting its spirit.
Therefore
, I would like to request you to reconsider your decision and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
on any other days,
possibly
on weekends, if Monday and Wednesday evenings are not convenient for you.

Yours
sincerely
,

Timothy Lee
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Monday and Wednesday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
198 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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