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You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v.4

You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v. 4
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inform you that we are considering your banquet hall for our annual dinner party that we are planning to organise at the end of October 2020. Therefore, I would like to obtain a few information to finalise the process of reserving this venue. First of all, please notify me of the availability of the venue as per our schedule. Can we avail it on the evening of 28th or 29th October? I would also like to know about the service you offer including the dinner menu, power backup and decoration. As it is a prestigious event for our company, you should follow some decent theme for the decoration and provide a buffet menu. My recommendation is to use a professional interior decorator and the use of white flowers and colourful balloons for the decoration. Finally, please forward me the estimated expenses that will incur to hire the venue and avail the services. Send it to my email address - This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Previous experience with your company was outstanding but this time, I am expecting more innovative design and high quality of services. Yours faithfully, Fahad Sultan
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inform you that we are considering your banquet hall for our annual dinner party that we are planning to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of October 2020.
Therefore
, I would like to obtain
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a few information
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'finalise' is British English.
finalise
the process of reserving this venue.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
notify me of the availability of the venue as per our schedule. Can we avail it on the evening of 28th or 29th October? I would
also
like to know about the service you offer including the dinner menu, power backup and decoration. As it is a prestigious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, you should follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
decent theme for the decoration and provide a buffet menu. My recommendation is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a professional interior decorator and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of white flowers and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
balloons for the decoration.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
forward me the estimated expenses that will incur to hire the venue and avail the services.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Send
it to my email address
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
This email address is
being protected
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
spambots
. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Previous experience with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
was outstanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this time, I am expecting more innovative design and high quality of services.

Yours
faithfully
,

Fahad Sultan
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS letter You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v. 4

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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