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You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v.3

You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about the availability of your party centre for an executive event. I work for the Robinsons & Brothers, and we are planning to organise an exclusive event on December 17, 2019. I would like to obtain a few information to reserve the venue. First, we are planning for an event where approximately 80 people would be present. We need to hire the venue for the whole day and you would be responsible for serving welcome drinks and lunch to the guests. Some of our guests would bring their parents who are senior citizens and might be physically challenged. What arrangements do you have for such people? Please include some Thai and Chinese dishes on the lunch menu. I would like to get a confirmation if the venue is available for the mentioned date and how much it would cost us to reserve it. You can send me the information, including the menu and details price list, via fax using the number 21-01-25412014 or email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . I am confident that you can provide us with the best possible service we need based on the abundance of positive reviews you have. Yours faithfully, Tiffany Lace
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inquire about the availability of your party
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for an executive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. I work for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Robinsons
& Brothers, and we are planning to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
an exclusive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
on December 17, 2019.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like to obtain
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a few information
to reserve the venue.

First
, we are planning for an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
where approximately 80
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be present. We need to hire the venue for the whole day and you would be responsible for serving welcome drinks and lunch to the guests.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of our guests would bring their parents who are senior citizens and might be
physically
challenged. What arrangements do you have for such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Thai and Chinese dishes on the lunch menu.

I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a confirmation if the venue is available for the mentioned date and how much it would cost us to reserve it. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me the information, including the menu and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
price list, via fax using the number 21-01-25412014 or email me at This email address is
being protected
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
spambots
. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I am confident that you can provide us with the best possible service we need based on the abundance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
reviews you have.

Yours
faithfully
,

Tiffany Lace
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS letter You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v. 3

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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