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You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v.2

You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to inquire about your exclusive seminar hall that we are planning to reserve for an official event. We are expecting a few additional amenities in order to accommodate the event without any intervention and to make it a success. We will organise the annual get-together party and I would like to know the availability of your seminar hall during the second week of next March. Our agenda will be staff meet-up followed by an hour-long presentation and it would conclude with a grand dinner party. We would require a high-resolution LCD projector and the Wi-Fi connection facility for Laptops. The seating arrangement is expected to be for almost 100 people. We also require facilities for welcome drinks for guests and dinner for all of them. I am curious to know about the rates to hire the hall for 6 hours, from 4: 00 pm to 10: 00 pm, with the list of facilities it offers. Additionally, please send me the menu for dinner including drinks. Also, mention the best possible concession you can offer and break down the expected expenses. We will not compromise the hygienic and food quality and we are expecting the party to be organised without any glaring issue from your end. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Mohammed Abu
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to inquire about your exclusive seminar hall that we are planning to reserve for an official
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. We are expecting a few additional amenities in order to accommodate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
without any intervention and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a success.

We will
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
the annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
-together party and I would like to know the availability of your seminar hall during the second week of
next
March. Our agenda will be staff
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
-up followed by an hour-long presentation and it would conclude with a grand dinner party. We would require a high-resolution LCD projector and the Wi-Fi connection facility for Laptops. The seating arrangement is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be for almost 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. We
also
require facilities for welcome drinks for guests and dinner for all of them.

I am curious to know about the rates to hire the hall for 6 hours, from 4: 00 pm to 10: 00 pm, with the list of facilities it offers.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me the menu for dinner including drinks.
Also
, mention the best possible concession you can offer and break down the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
expenses. We will not compromise the hygienic and food
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
quality and
we are expecting the party to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
without any glaring issue from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Mohammed Abu
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS letter You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event and ask for detailed information regarding dates, services and costs. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
223 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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