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You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. Write a letter to the hotel making arrangements. v.6

You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. Write a letter to the hotel making arrangements. v. 6
Dear Sir, I have a tantalising, which means, an exciting prospect of holiday making in a famed hotel like your Island Resorts. I am a from New York who took time off from work to make it to Bali along with my family. Hence, I’m requesting you to make the following arrangements: My ebullient, energetic and happy family consists of four members i. e. I, my wife and two children aged between 12-15 years. I need a double suit rooms within an average budget on the top floor overlooking the ocean with attached balcony so that we can sit and enjoy the panorama. I need the everything immaculate e. g. fresh towels, clean linen, tidy beds and a repellent would come handy just in case if there are any mosquitoes. Coming to food; my family loves multi-cuisine restaurants. My last need for the day is, I want to lease a Mercedes class vehicle to transport my family while we are there. Hope all of this could be arranged with ease and if you have any queries, please free to contact me. Sincerely, Jack Dan
Dear Sir,

I have a
Possible spelling mistake. 'tantalising' is British English.
tantalising
, which means, an exciting prospect of holiday making in a famed hotel like your Island Resorts. I am a
Did you mean "form"?
from
New York who took time off from work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it to Bali along with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Hence
, I’m requesting you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the following arrangements:

My ebullient, energetic and happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
consists of four members
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
I, my wife and two children aged between 12-15 years. I need a double suit rooms within an average budget on the top floor overlooking the ocean with attached balcony
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can sit and enjoy the panorama. I need
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "everything"?
the everything
immaculate
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
fresh towels, clean linen, tidy beds and a repellent would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
handy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in case if there are any mosquitoes.

Coming to food; my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
multi-cuisine restaurants. My last need for the day is, I want to lease a Mercedes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
vehicle to transport my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
while we are there.

Hope all of this could
be arranged
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and if you have any queries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
free to contact me.

Sincerely
,

Jack Dan
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. Write a letter to the hotel making arrangements. v. 6

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
183 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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