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You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. v.3

You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am planning to spend a weekend with my family at your hotel and would like to request you to make the necessary arrangements for us. My wife and my daughter will accompany me and I hope you can arrange a large deluxe room for us from 14th July to 16th July. I am hoping that you would inform me of the availability of the room with a few other details at your earliest. We will be arriving on Thursday, 14th July at around 3: 00 pm. We will spend the weekend and will check-out from the hotel on Saturday- 17th July, before 11. 30 am. Please make sure that the room has a balcony, attached bathroom and air cooler and offers a sea view. Not to mention, the room should be large and adequately furnished. Kindly let me know the cost of spending the weekend at your hotel for the mentioned dates. Also, advise if you have any weekend package for the families. We will be visiting the place for the first time, so I would appreciate if you could inform us about the places worth visiting. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Mansoor Rahim
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am planning to spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
with my family at your hotel and would like to request you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the necessary arrangements for us. My wife and my daughter will accompany me and I hope you can arrange a large deluxe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for us from 14th July to 16th July. I am hoping that you would inform me of the availability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
with a few other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
at your earliest.

We will be arriving on
Did you mean to refer to the current year? 14th July 2020 is not a Thursday, but a Tuesday.
Thursday, 14th July
at around 3: 00 pm. We will spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-out from the hotel on Saturday- 17th July,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
11. 30 am.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
has a balcony, attached bathroom and air cooler and offers a sea view. Not to mention, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
should be large and
adequately
furnished.

Kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know the cost of spending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
at your hotel for the mentioned dates.
Also
, advise if you have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
package for the families.

We will be visiting the place for the
first
time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would appreciate if you could inform us about the places worth visiting.

Thank you in advance.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Mansoor
Rahim
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. v. 3

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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