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You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. v.2

You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you to make the necessary arrangements for our stay at your hotel on 22nd and 23rd November. I will travel with my parents, wife and 7 years old son. I am hoping that you would be able to provide us with suitable accommodation and assist us to enjoy our trip. We will arrive on 22nd November and check out from your hotel on 24th November before 12. 00 pm. We are expecting two double size bedrooms with attached bathrooms, hot water and air cooler facilities. We would prefer rooms with sea view and room service. I would really appreciate if the rooms are on the same floor. I am also interested to know about recreational activities in the vicinity. Despite my parent’s age, they are very lively and would love to go to the theatre, beach and amusement parks, if available. I would also like to know about the market, where we can buy traditional items and souvenirs. Please notify me of the cost that will incur on our trip at your earliest with the facilities you can offer. I am expecting a comprehensive reply from your side about the details of activities and other information I requested. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Fahad Sultan
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the necessary arrangements for our stay at your hotel on 22nd and 23rd November. I will travel with my parents, wife and 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
son.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would be able to provide us with suitable accommodation and assist us to enjoy our trip.

We will arrive on 22nd November and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
out from your hotel on 24th November
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
12. 00 pm. We are expecting two double size bedrooms with attached bathrooms, hot water and air cooler facilities. We would prefer rooms with sea view and room service. I would
really
appreciate if the rooms are on the same floor.

I am
also
interested to know about recreational activities in the vicinity. Despite my parent’s age, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lively and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, beach and amusement parks, if available. I would
also
like to know about the market, where we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
traditional items and souvenirs.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
notify me of the cost that will incur on our trip at your earliest with the facilities you can offer. I am expecting a comprehensive reply from your side about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of activities and other information I requested.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Fahad Sultan
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS letter You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
217 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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