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You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. v.3

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. v. 3
Dear James, I’ve recently got your letter and feel a bit disappointed that there is no opportunity to talk to each other more frequent. However, I’m very glad that you have finally graduated a high school and will start a new life soon. I think you need to take a break with your educational process and try to work for a while. There are more difficult subjects there and you will have caught up with studying and don’t have a free time at all. By the way, there are a lot of programs provided by local companies in your city that aimed to employ predominantly youth. This is a good opportunity for you to try yourself working and, moreover, collect money for your forthcoming education. When you finally decide to study in college or university, you’ll have enough cash to pay your studying fees. I want to advise you to buy some local newspapers. There are units with job advertisements. But first of all, you need to make an appropriate CV. Don’t forget to note your communication abilities. I think, consultant in supermarket is good job position to start with. Especially, in electronic department. This is your field. I’m looking forward to hearing from you about job finding and wish you good luck! Your sincerely, Givi
Dear James,

I’ve recently
got
your letter and feel a bit disappointed that there is no opportunity to talk to each other more frequent.
However
, I’m
very
glad that you have
finally
graduated
a high school and will
start
a new life
soon
. I
think
you need to take a break with your educational process and try to work for a while. There are more difficult subjects there and you will have caught up with studying and don’t have a free time at all.

By the way, there are
a lot of
programs provided by local
companies
in your city that aimed to employ
predominantly
youth. This is a
good
opportunity for you to try yourself working and,
moreover
, collect money for your forthcoming education. When you
finally
decide to study in college or university, you’ll have
enough
cash to pay your studying fees.

I want to advise you to
buy
some
local newspapers. There are units with job advertisements.
But
first of all
, you need to
make
an appropriate CV. Don’t forget to note your communication abilities. I
think
, consultant in supermarket is
good
job position to
start
with.
Especially
, in electronic department. This is your field.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you about job finding and wish you
good
luck!

Your
sincerely
,

Givi
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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