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Write a letter to your friend who lives in another town, and invite him/her to a party you are going to organise. v.3

Write a letter to your friend who lives in another town, and invite him/her to a party you are going to organise. v. 3
Dear Daniel, How are you doing these days? I know, I haven’t talked to you in a while, but that’s because I have been so busy with my work and other things lately. Anyway, I am writing this letter to invite you to attend a party. With regard to the party, I've decided to throw that party on the occasion of moving into a newly-built home. Apparently, we are so happy to be able to finally move into our new home, and I want to share our happiness with friends, families and relatives. That is why I am throwing this party which will take place on 19th February. The party will include a cake-cutting ceremony and a dinner party. But, before the dinner is served, a few video clips on how the house was built gradually will also be displayed. After dinner, we will enjoy a music concert. Here is the direction to the house of our new house from your town - first take the N-35 highway, drive about 2 hours towards the north and reach our city. After that, take right on “Harmony” road and drive about 2 kilometres before you see a large shopping centre named “Valeria”. The house is right behind the shopping centre. I hope to see you at the party. Warm wishes, Stefan Hermann
Dear Daniel,

How are you doing these days? I know, I haven’t talked to you in a while,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
busy with my work and other things lately. Anyway, I am writing this letter to invite you to attend a party.

With regard to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
, I've decided to throw that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
on the occasion of moving into a
newly
-built home.
Apparently
, we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy to be able to
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into our new home, and I want to share our happiness with friends, families and relatives.
That is
why I am throwing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
which will take place on 19th February. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
will include a cake-cutting ceremony and a dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the dinner
is served
, a few video clips on how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
was built
gradually
will
also
be displayed
. After dinner, we will enjoy a music concert.

Here is the direction to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
of our new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
from your town
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
first
take the N-35 highway, drive about 2 hours towards the north and reach our city. After that, take right on “Harmony” road and drive about 2
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a large shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
named “Valeria”. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is right behind the shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.

I hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
you at the party.

Warm wishes,

Stefan Hermann
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS letter Write a letter to your friend who lives in another town, and invite him/her to a party you are going to organise. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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