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Write a letter to the Information Officer at the TAPE Information Office asking for information about the Tertiary Preparation Certificate. v.3

Write a letter to the Information Officer at the TAPE Information Office asking for information about the Tertiary Preparation Certificate. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I would like some information about the Tertiary Preparation Certificate programme that I am planning to intake this summer. Your institution was recommended to me by a colleague and I am hoping you would send me the necessary information so that I can get admitted in this course. I completed my high school diploma six years ago. Since then I have worked as an Office Assistant in two companies and currently working as a librarian in the Johnson Library. However, in order to advance my career and to be in a better job sector, I will need to do some further study, perhaps in Marketing or Management. Because I have a long study gap, I believe that I should complete the Tertiary Preparation Certificate course before enrolling in the Bachelor course in a university. Please send me necessary information along with the admission form to my mail address mentioned at the top at your convenience. I intend to start the course next summer. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Emma Watson
Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about the Tertiary Preparation Certificate
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
that I am planning to intake this summer. Your institution
was recommended
to me by a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
colleague and
I am hoping you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me the necessary information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admitted in this course.

I completed my high school diploma six years ago. Since
The comma is probably missing here: "then, I".
then I
have worked as an Office Assistant in two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
currently
working as a librarian in the Johnson Library.
However
, in order to advance my career and to be in a better job sector, I will need to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
further
study, perhaps in Marketing or Management.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I have a long study gap, I believe that I should complete the Tertiary Preparation Certificate course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enrolling in the Bachelor course in a university.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me necessary information along with the admission form to my mail address mentioned at the top at your convenience. I intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the course
next
summer.

Thank you in advance.

Yours
faithfully
,

Emma Watson
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter Write a letter to the Information Officer at the TAPE Information Office asking for information about the Tertiary Preparation Certificate. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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