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Write a letter to a travel agent expressing your dissatisfaction with their facilities due to a problem you had on a holiday v.2

Write a letter to a travel agent expressing your dissatisfaction with their facilities due to a problem you had on a holiday v. 2
Dear Mr. Green, I am writing to complain about the day trip to Cairo I have recently gone on with your company. I traveled on 1st of October and I was shocked by the standard of food, safety and comfort. To begin with, the food was very unsatisfactory. Although your advertisement promises a lunch at a five-star restaurant with gourmet food, the food was in fact of a very poor standard. Also, no dinner was arranged. Instead, we were told that we can eat at our hotel restaurant upon arrival. No food was provided after lunch we had at 1PM until 10. 30PM. And when we arrived at the hotel restaurant none of the staff were aware of such arrangement and the restaurant was closed. Fortunately, they managed to prepare some meal from leftovers. What is more, the bus driver did not follow safety rules. For instance, he was on the phone most of the time while driving and drove at very high speed even in narrow alleys. To make matters worse, the AC could not be turned off and no blanket was available on the bus. The next day I caught cold and could not enjoy the rest of my holiday. I feel, I am entitled to a full refund and a written apology for the misinformation contained in your advertisement. I hope to hear from you regarding this matter as soon as possible. Regards, Balzhan Issakhanova
Dear Mr. Green,

I am writing to complain about the day trip to Cairo I have recently gone on with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I traveled on 1st of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
October and
I
was shocked
by the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, safety and comfort.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unsatisfactory. Although your advertisement promises a lunch at a five-star
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
with gourmet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was in fact of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor standard.
Also
, no dinner
was arranged
.
Instead
, we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that we can eat at our hotel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
upon arrival. No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was provided
after lunch we had at 1PM until 10. 30PM. And when we arrived at the hotel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
none of the staff were aware of such arrangement and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
was closed
.
Fortunately
, they managed to prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meal from leftovers.

What is more
, the bus driver did not follow safety
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
For instance
, he was on the phone most of the time while driving and drove at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high speed even in narrow alleys.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, the AC could not
be turned
off and no blanket was available on the bus. The
next
day I caught
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and could not enjoy the rest of my holiday.

I feel, I
am entitled
to a full refund and a written apology for the misinformation contained in your advertisement. I hope to hear from you regarding this matter as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Balzhan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Issakhanova
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter Write a letter to a travel agent expressing your dissatisfaction with their facilities due to a problem you had on a holiday v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
237 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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