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Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some holiday photos. v.4

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some holiday photos. v. 4
Dear Emma and Jenifer, I cannot thank you enough for the hospitality you have shown me during my stay at your house. Also, I am writing to say thanks for the great photos you have couriered me. I am hoping you two would visit me during the summer vacation. I was greatly surprised by the beauty of Venice in Italy and the days I spent with you. Each day was magical. The fabulous canals in Venice lined with Renaissance and Gothic palaces were heavenly. However, you two had been excellent hosts and I can never express how much I enjoyed my time with you. A huge thank you for making my holidays special and sending some of the very best photos we took during this holiday. My apology for not writing to you earlier. I had been busy with office and I guess you already know how sometimes I struggle to manage everything in my life. I had to travel to Brisbane twice to meet my mom whose health condition is deteriorating these days. I would love to have you both with me during the summer vacation. Please plan for the trip and I am sure you will enjoy your time in Australia. Take care and stay fine. Warm wishes, Kelly
Dear Emma and Jenifer,

I cannot thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the hospitality you have shown me during my stay at your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Also
, I am writing to say thanks for the great photos you have couriered me. I am hoping you two would visit me during the summer vacation.

I was
greatly
surprised by the beauty of Venice in Italy and the days I spent with you. Each day was magical. The fabulous canals in Venice lined with Renaissance and Gothic palaces were heavenly.
However
, you two had been excellent hosts and I can never express how much I enjoyed my time with you. A huge thank you for making my holidays special and sending
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
best photos we took during this holiday.

My apology for not writing to you earlier. I had been busy with office and I guess you already know how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I struggle to manage everything in my life. I had to travel to Brisbane twice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
my mom whose health condition is deteriorating these days.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to have you both with me during the summer vacation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
plan for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trip and
I am sure you will enjoy your time in Australia. Take care and stay fine.

Warm wishes,

Kelly
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some holiday photos. v. 4

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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