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Going to university is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good jab, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.2

Going to university is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good jab, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. v. 2
There is no doubt that many people believe that continuing higher education is an effective way of gaining more skills and opportunities, whereas others think that gaining experience and practical skills could be more better in the long run. This essay agrees with this because in some cases it is not needed to go to university to get a perfect job. there are some that hold the view that professional jobs require university level knowledge and understanding, they usually have a idea that employer consider university graduates as a valuable human resource. For instance, when someone goes for an interview for a job as a lawyer in a law firm, that person would need to have a completed Law degree and have spent time in that field. In addition to that the quality and ranking of the university they studied would be a major factor in whether they would get the job they desire. Many employers see this fact into consideration. On the other hand, others would argue that not all companies do not need to a university degree to have employment security. I strongly agree with this because certain jobs could be done by using some practical skills and hands-on experience. For example, designing websites or being a software programmer would require a person to be able to think for themselves, be innovative and have technical experience. Therefore, not at all jobs need people to continue their higher education at university. I think that if someone has the experience necessary and aims for a job that does not require higher education. , they should take the opportunity rather than spending four years at college. In conclusion, even though there are differing views on the best way of gaining employment, I believe that in certain fields, practical skills and experience would give someone a much better chance of getting their wanted job.
There is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that continuing higher education is an effective way of gaining more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and opportunities, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
could be
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
in the long run. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases it is not needed to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a perfect job.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that hold the view that professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
level knowledge and understanding, they
usually
have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
The verb 'consider' is plural. Did you mean: "that employer considers"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that employer consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates as a valuable human resource.
For instance
, when someone goes for an interview for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a lawyer in a law firm, that person would need to have a completed Law degree and have spent time in that field.

In addition
to that the quality and ranking of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
they studied would be a major factor in whether they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they desire.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
employers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this fact into consideration.

On the other hand
, others would argue that not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do not need to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree to have employment security. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
could
be done
by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and hands-on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
For example
, designing websites or being a software programmer would require a person to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for themselves, be innovative and have technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Therefore
, not at all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to continue their higher education at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if someone has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
necessary and aims for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that does not require higher education.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
they should take the opportunity
rather
than spending four years at college.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are differing views on the best way of gaining employment, I believe that in certain fields, practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
would give someone a much better chance of getting their wanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS letter Going to university is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good jab, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. v. 2

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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