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Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion v.2

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion v. 2
Learning and understanding the latest technology should be an important part of the syllabus in all schools. The computer has played a vital part in attracting student’s attention towards learning new technology. In this essay, we will discuss about the positive and negative effects of including computers as an important part of the teaching syllabus in schools. I feel computers should be made a fundamental part of courses taught in schools. Involving computers (or – involving a computer) have several positive points. The main point is that it helps students to understand and utilize various features of a computer system. For example, now they can use computers to study from anywhere and at any time. Another factor is that teaching pupils thoroughly about computers will nurture more skilled professionals. For example, these students can start performing immediately after joining in as fresher’s in organizations because they have prior experience with computer systems. There are a few disadvantages too. Students tend to get attracted to fancy gadgets and waste a lot of time. For example, they over-indulge and start using the computer for gaming purposes. (more than one purpose) Another issue is a lack of confidence in having personal interactions. For example, due to spending more time on a computer, they stop getting involved in physical and team building activities which in turn make them under confident. Everything has benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, the computer teaches them to study at their (spelling) convenience and helps them to become more skilled and, on the other hand, if used unwisely it kills their time when gaming and also makes them under confident. In my opinion, including computers in lessons does more good than harm. For example, by learning about computers during my school days, I learned about maintaining internet privacy and cyber law. In conclusion, if used wisely adding computers to school lessons would be very beneficial.
Learning and understanding the latest technology should be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the syllabus in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The computer has played a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
in attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
attention towards learning new technology. In this essay, we will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of including computers as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the teaching syllabus in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. I feel computers should
be made
a fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of courses taught in schools.

Involving computers (or
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
involving a computer) have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points. The main point is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to understand and utilize various features of a computer system. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers to study from anywhere and at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Another factor is that teaching pupils
thoroughly
about computers will nurture more skilled professionals. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
performing immediately after joining in as fresher’s in organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have prior experience with computer systems.

There are a few disadvantages too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to fancy gadgets and waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, they over-indulge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using the computer for gaming purposes. (more than one purpose) Another issue is a lack of confidence in having personal interactions. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, due to spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on a computer, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
getting involved in physical and team building activities which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them under confident.

Everything has benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, the computer teaches them to study at their (spelling) convenience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to become more skilled and,
on the other hand
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
unwisely
it kills their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when gaming and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them under confident. In my opinion, including computers in lessons does more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
than harm. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, by learning about computers during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days, I learned about maintaining internet privacy and cyber law.

In conclusion
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
wisely
adding computers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
lessons would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS letter Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion v. 2

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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