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A friend you made while you were studying abroad has written to ask for your help in finding a job in your country you have heard about a job in local company that might be suitable for him her tell you friend about a job and what sort of work it involves v.2

A friend you made while you were studying abroad has written to ask for your help in finding a job in your country you have heard about a job in local company that might be suitable for him her tell you friend about a job and what sort of work it involves v. 2
Dear Sam, Hope this letter finds you hale and hearty. I am very excited to know that you are looking for opportunities to work in my country. I always cherish the time we spent together in London when we were studying MBA; we made some good memories and long lasting friendship. As far as your job hunt is concerned, I am glad to tell you that I am aware of a vacancy of project manager in a renounced telecom company here. I am working with the same organization in the capacity of financial analyst. Let me elaborate some core responsibilities of the position. Project management job description majorly includes working on different projects from scratch to end product creation. Working with cross functional teams, making of project implementation plans and securing business case approvals. I am convinced that you are an appropriate resource for this job as you did Project Management Professional (PMP) certification other than MBA degree which gives an edge over other candidates; academically. Additionally you have working experience of 3 years in same domain which is an added advantage. Please apply online on our company’s website, click on the career section and apply for this post. Also, please send a scan copy of your resume to me so I can forward it to relevant HR personnel. I wish you all the luck for this job and interview process. Looking forward to work with you. Yours Truly, Lene
Dear Sam,

Hope this letter finds you hale and hearty. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited to know that you are looking for opportunities to work in my country. I always cherish the time we spent together in London when we were studying MBA; we made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memories and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
friendship. As far as your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
hunt
is concerned
, I am glad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you that I am aware of a vacancy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
manager in a renounced telecom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
here. I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with the same organization in the capacity of financial analyst.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me elaborate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
core responsibilities of the position.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Project
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
description
majorly
includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
from scratch to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
product creation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
with cross functional teams, making of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
implementation plans and securing business case approvals. I
am convinced
that you are an appropriate resource for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as you did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Project
Management Professional (PMP) certification other than MBA degree which gives an edge over other candidates;
academically
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
experience of 3 years in same domain which is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
advantage.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
apply online on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s website, click on the career section and apply for this post.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a scan copy of your resume to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can forward it to relevant HR personnel. I wish you all the luck for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and interview process. Looking forward to work with you.

Yours
Truly
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Lene
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS letter A friend you made while you were studying abroad has written to ask for your help in finding a job in your country you have heard about a job in local company that might be suitable for him her tell you friend about a job and what sort of work it involves v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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