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A friend you made while you were studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. You have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. v.2

A friend you made while you were studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. You have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. v. 2
Dear Julian, I am so glad to hear from you after such a long period of time since we both graduated from university. From your letter, it sounds like you have been quite busy travelling some parts of Europe and doing a couple of part-time jobs. Your interest to find a job in Japan is exciting news to me as it would allow us to meet in person whenever we want. Well, you would be glad to know that right after receiving your request, I had started to look for an opportunity for you, and I surprisingly found out that there just might be an opportunity for you at a company of my country which is trying to hire some international marketing consultants from abroad, especially, Europe to promote its product in Europe. And given that you have a degree in Marketing Management and excellent communication skills in English, I think that this job would suit you perfectly. So, please just visit the website of this company called “Mizomi Appliances” and follow the instruction on its “career” page in order to apply for this job. Best of luck and I am looking forward to meeting you soon. Warm wishes, Fuji Nagamoto
Dear Julian,

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
glad to hear from you after such a long period of time since we both graduated from university. From your letter, it sounds like you have been quite busy travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of Europe and doing a couple of part-time jobs. Your interest to find a job in Japan is exciting news to me as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in person whenever we want.

Well, you would be glad to know that right after receiving your request, I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to look for an opportunity for you, and I
surprisingly
found out that there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
might be an opportunity for you at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of my country which is trying to hire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
international marketing consultants from abroad,
especially
, Europe to promote its product in Europe. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that you have a degree in Marketing Management and excellent communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in English, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this job would suit you
perfectly
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
visit the website of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
called “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mizomi
Appliances” and follow the instruction on its “career” page in order to apply for this job.

Best of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
luck and
I am looking forward to meeting you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm wishes,

Fuji
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nagamoto
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS letter A friend you made while you were studying abroad has written to ask you for help in finding a job in your country. You have heard about a job in a local company that might be suitable for him/her. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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