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Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. v.3

Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. v. 3
Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary, but not a poor alternative to a natural environment. Discuss some of the arguments for and against keeping animals in zoos. Nothing is more barbaric than destroying the peace of someone's livelihood, poaching them and destroying their natural habitats. Humans from a very ancient time had close coordination with animals and other living creatures. They have been using them as pets, for cultivation and moreover, as food in many sorts. Thus, keeping animals in zoos can be considered both negative and positive considering a various perspective of the situations. Regarding the positive sides, climate change, like the wildfires and intensive cold weather, is causing disastrous effects in the lives of animals at an enormous rate. Millions of species are dead and many are in danger, and rescuing those species of endangered animals from such calamitous situations can be done with the help of an artificial ecosystem like the zoo. Moreover, zoos can be the place for researches and considered to be an area where our young generations could enjoy and learn about various rare species. On the contrary, considering the confinement and artificial ecosystem that animals have to adjust within a zoo, it is often discarded by the environmentalist as an unsafe place for animals and birds. Zoos often are just the place where men could see the animals and enjoy while small iron cages are applied to enclose the otherwise free animals and birds. Moreover, the authority often tries to cash out the animals and entertain the visitors which is cruel. Taking a look at the real purpose of the existence of zoo and various benefits that have been delivered to the animal kingdom, along with understanding the negative effects of zoos, it can be stated that zoos can sometimes be seen as required but, it is a rather bad alternative to a natural environment.
Zoos are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not a poor alternative to a natural environment. Discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
arguments for and against keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos.

Nothing is more barbaric than destroying the peace of someone's livelihood, poaching them and destroying their natural habitats. Humans from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ancient time had close coordination with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and other living creatures. They have been using them as pets, for cultivation and
moreover
, as food in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sorts.
Thus
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos can
be considered
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
considering a various perspective of the situations.

Regarding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, like the wildfires and intensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather, is causing disastrous effects in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
at an enormous rate. Millions of species are dead and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, and rescuing those species of endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from such calamitous situations can
be done
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of an artificial ecosystem like the zoo.
Moreover
, zoos can be the place for researches and considered to be an area where our young generations could enjoy and learn about various rare species.

On the contrary
, considering the confinement and artificial ecosystem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adjust within a zoo, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
discarded by the environmentalist as an unsafe place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and birds. Zoos
The adverb 'often' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
often are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the place where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and enjoy while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
iron cages
are applied
to enclose the
otherwise
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and birds.
Moreover
, the authority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tries to cash out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and entertain the visitors which is cruel.

Taking a look at the real purpose of the existence of zoo and various benefits that have
been delivered
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
kingdom, along with understanding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of zoos, it can
be stated
that zoos can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it is a
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
alternative to a natural environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Zoos are sometimes seen as necessary but not poor alternatives to a natural environment. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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